THE DALEK SCHOOL OF SURVEILLANCE
Information provided by Arturo Magidin
Want to be feared throughout the Universe?
Want to be a successful conquering race?
Want to establish an Empire of Terror to last through the Centuries?
Well, who wouldn't!That's why here at Skaro we have
established the Dalek School of Surveillance. For just eight easy
payments of £24.95 you too can be a graduate of the Dalek School of
We at the Dalek School of Surveillance offer a wide variety of
courses for you to choose from. Among our most popular courses are:
- Surveillance 101
- Learn how to march in a single line while looking for escaped prisoners.
- Surveillance 102
- Learn how to cover the same ground as the person in front of you.
- Advanced Surveillance
- Learn how to ignore everything which is not directly ahead of you when
looking for escaped prisoners.
- Master Classes in Surveillance
- Provided by your own personal Dalek, you will have 30 minutes a week of
PERSONAL ATTENTION! You will learn how to extend the techniques learned in
other courses at the Dalek School of Surveillance to other
Learn how to:
|Look for objects.
|And much, much more!|
At other Surveillance institutions you are required to cover a lot of
useless courses and do fieldwork. But at the Dalek School of Surveillance
we concentrate on what is important! You need only cover 4 courses (all offered
each and every semester), plus one extra-credit course (to be chosen from our
wide variety which includes: Surveillance in Corridors; Surveillance in
Caves; Surveillance on Earth; Surveillance aboard TARDISes; How to Climb Stairs)
and you get your degree! That's right! If you apply yourself, you could, in only
one year, be a graduate from the Dalek School of Surveillance!
At the Dalek School of Surveillance we believe EVERYONE can be a
graduate. To guarantee you will not "slip through the cracks" you will
be assigned an advanced student as soon as you arrive. It is his job to keep you
under surveillance, and of course help you from time to time in what you need.
(NOTE: You can cover your extra-credit course by volunteering to be an
advance-student tutor and not loosing the student assigned to you)
(NOTE: You can also cover your extra-credit course requirement by escaping
from the surveillance of your tutor)
Each class is taught by a professional Dalek, well versed in Dalek
Surveillance Techniques. The classes are small (15-20 people each), so you get
that "personal feeling" everybody craves when he sees a Dalek!
AN ADMINISTRATION WHO CARES!
Our Founder and President, Davros, CARES! You WILL Graduate!*
(*Note: Or be !)
We even offer other courses for you! Yes! You too can learn from the
Shouting 101: How to yell "EXTERMINATE!" and "I
OBEY" in a convincing fashion.
Dalek Impersonation 101: Wouldn't you just love to be able to fool
people into thinking you were a Dalek? Think of the fun at parties!
Galactic Empires 101: Learn about some of the other failures in
achieving a Galactic Empire, and our explanation of why they failed. Learn about
the Cybermen and the Sontaran empires.
The Dalek School of Surveillance is not one of those "Here
Today Gone Tomorrow" outfits. We have years of experience, teaching our
fine surveillance techniques to thousands of graduates. Here are some of our
former graduates and their opinions:
"I found the surveillance courses a great boon for my work. Without
them, I wouldn't know how to look for escaped prisoners" - SV7
"Grmmmphhhh! Phttttt! Grrrrr!" - Swamp People
Some of our former graduates include:
|The Robots of Death!
|The Swamp People of Full Circle!
|The guards from Ribos!|
DON'T WAIT! ENROLL TODAY!
(NOTE: We are currently compiling a list of former graduates. Due to
unforeseen damage in our storage vaults in Skaro, some old records have been
destroyed. We would appreciate information on other graduates, as well as their
opinions on our courses to be included in future brochures. We would also
appreciate information on the whereabouts of the culprit, or of an old blue
police box. Obey, or Be Exterminated!)
CALL 0800-YOU-OBEY for your free brochure!